My biggest secret is that I feel like I'm on the verge of another mental breakdown.
The last one almost killed me. Three different specialists who all said my brain was shutting down and they didn't know why or how to stop it, an emergency trip to the best hospital in the area, six months as a cripple, four months of constant seizures, and permanent damage to my memory.
I don't think I can go through that again.
But here I am, with no hope of professional help, with a marriage that's falling apart, unemployed, no savings left, about to fly to a foreign country where I don't speak the language and have non-paid employment commitments for room and board, and I'm on the verge of another.
I don't think I can go through this again.
I'd rather die...