Having lost a friend, my dog and family all in this latter part of the year has made me think about death.
Even more than usual.
I've thought about death most of my life.
I've had a lot of loved ones die, seen a lot of bad things, was close to dying a few times, etc.
I'm a dark and morbid person, so I can tolerate a lot of things others can't.
I've heard horrible stories and seen horrible images and stuff.
I think it's a way to numb myself.
I've been thinking lately that people see death as a horrible and gruesome and dark thing, but what if it's not?
I've always believed in an afterlife of some sort, but I know many people that disagree with me and think death is the end.
I honestly think the latter thought is depressing. It makes me feel that there's no point to being alive. If we don't matter, why live? If everyone we love dies and we'll never see them again - why live? Why experience the pain and sadness?
But there's been times where I hoped death was the end.
When I'm dead, I won't care. Because I won't exist anymore.
And why bother to struggle to survive when I could just end the pain and fear?
I wonder if life is a joke. We sit here and try our hardest to live and fear death.
But what if death is amazing? What if being here is horrible and stupid?
We're all idiots for trying to stay here instead of dying and being somewhere awesome?
What if there is an afterlife? And it sucks because it's boring? Or what if it's utterly perfect and boring?
I think dying and being reborn would be amazing. Those who don't get to live life for long get another chance.
I know people have different beliefs on this site and we can respect each other's beliefs.
I just wanted to share the thoughts I've been having lately.