This is a segment of an old poem of mine, I rewrote parts to my taste now, since I wrote it when I was quite young. But I'll tell you a lil bit about it before you read on, if you so decide. When I was 14 my boyfriend/best friend/soul mate decided to take his own life. I was completely shattered, I still have trouble to this day. I knew of the things going on in his life,but could do little to solve his problems. But I wasn't prepared for how sudden his presence would be smothered from my life. It traumatized me for a long time. I shut off all my friends completely. And for a long time after blamed myself for failing him, how couldn't "I" the person that loved and understood him probably the most, not save him. It's easy for others to question why I didn't do this or that, how I was unable to stop him. I've come to terms with the fact that I probably would not have been able to change the outcome. Nothing would have stopped him, he was too broken, and we, the ones around him, too young to fully comprehend or understand the signs. He was our glue, and without him we fell apart. But I'll end my little interlude into my past and give you some crappy poetry
Kain(12/13/90 - 4/23/05)
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A Knot:
A feeling I cannot shake
One deep inside
My blood boils within
and I am alive.
I do not want to hide
If I am able to die
then I have the right to live
I am not a figment of imagination
A burning desire
shaking through
flesh and bone
Consuming, devouring
I reach out
and destroy
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