I actually find that is a super hard question. It probably would hurt a lot less to just not know, but then again, I do think it introduces an unhealthy secret into the relationship that might eat at it in the long run. So I'd probably prefer honesty, even if it hurts me.

I've never had a lover, so I can't say with absolute certainty that I'd still believe this if I did, but I'd want them to be honest with me. Maybe we can work through it together, or it's a total deal-breaker, but for goodness sake, don't hide it.

And I can't imagine myself cheating on someone, so???

Akili Li - Yeah, there's a definite difference between those.
Kevin has a hard time vocalizing his feelings but he's gotten a lot better at it.

Yeah... I don't demand a high degree of self-knowledge and articulate phrasing about anything as messy and confusing as emotions.
I just want some self-honesty and openness about it- even if all it is is saying, "I think there's something wrong, I can't put my finger on what, and trying to talk about it right now is making it worse, so I just want to acknowledge what's happening and give it some time to percolate and maybe I can figure out what it is." We can talk again if that takes too long and nothing seems to come of it, because a holding pattern forever won't work either, but honestly I've waited a couple MONTHS for someone to let their subconscious work through all the factors before they were up for having a discussion about it.
So I don't think it's too much to ask for openness about something as straight-forward as "my attraction to this other person was enough to overwhelm my loyalty to you."
Because if you don't have any sort of open-relationship policy in place ahead of time, then that's what it boils down to, and that's a sign it's high time to sit down and talk.

Emotions can be super confusing like that, I think it's great to acknowledge that and give your partner some time to figure out how to put them in words :)

No and no. What you don't know can't hurt you.

You are way more patient than me. I can wait a few hours, but I'm gonna need an update. lol.

Loyalty is a big thing for me. I have awful trust issues from being lied to constantly as a kid. I can't have a lover that isn't loyal. It would eat me from the inside out.

Now, I could probably deal with an open relationship kind of thing with some seriously set rules.