To succeed in life, do you have to go against the grain?
I feel like my life flows, but I havent gone against the grain in many things. Im scared I will lose myself and my unique perspectives and insights.
I dont know if success is worth getting out of my comfort zone if I have no way of getting back in it.

An example is Im reading about business etiquette, and while the book is good and informs me why people are expected to do certain things, it feels like an information overload. I feel like Im overwhelming my brain trying to learn how to act differently than who I am.

but somehow I feel like this is the way people achieve greatness. Can I really handle a life of mediocrity in my skills just because learning new things might inconvenience me in the short-run?

Do you go against the grain or go with the flow? Have you ever thought about doing things differently?

Yeah, the saying about customers always being right gets my goat because a lot of the time it ends up dehumanizing the people that are working. Its fine for the managers and big bosses, but the other employees deserve to be treated with respect too. It makes the customers seem like they can do no wrong and they definitely can! Some customers are more trouble than theyre worth and that needs to be considered too.

Its cool you used to be a mod here. I know its a hard job. I was a mod for a Facebook group for a little while. I didnt say anything wrong, but keeping up with everything going on is kind of difficult. You have to juggle so many different things.
and dealing with people under those circumstances can be difficult. You have to judge other people, and punish them when the situation calls for it.
Im not good at that kind of thing. I mean, if Firn and starkad asked me to be a mod, I might do it, but Im not sure how good Id be at it. It doesnt seem like theres a whole lot that needs moderating right now anyway.
Except for the spam in the game forum a little while ago, I havent noticed people arguing or posting outside where theyre supposed to post.

I go against the grain and I go with the flow.
I do what I want. I don't follow fashion trends or anything like that unless I really like them. I state my opinions.

I don't see the point of going with the flow unless you really want to.

I think it would really depend on what "success" means to you personally. A lot of people I know just define "success" as being a fully integrated, self-sustaining part of society -for which you don't have to go against the grain at all, and in fact it's easier if you align yourself with the grain. Others just want to do well in what they want to do, by a personal rubric that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the people around them, and in that case again it would depend....

wait.
When you say "going against the grain" do you mean forcing yourself to go against your personal grain to align yourself with the society you are in?
Or do you mean clinging to your personal idiosyncrasies and going against the grain of the society you find yourself in, so that you stand out and appear exceptional?

I mean both, really, since this is a general thread, but for my own situation it is about me being able to integrate with society, which feels like going against everything I have done.

It helps for me to think of it as "more easy to go with society's grain".

I can understand that. Its like how rules exist for a reason.
My problem is I don't understand WHY people get mistreated when they are helping society and how can I support a system that punishes people for being themselves and rewards people for putting on a mask.

If people wear masks, it means its easier for them to backstab you for being honest and you won't know how to get back at them.

Why wear a mask at all? Why am I not good enough as I am? If I have the intention to work, why am I not given a job? Why do I have to play society-themed games with employers just to get a job? If they want me to work so bad, why don't they make the work environment more inviting?

I'm sure I would have a lot to offer. but no one sees my potential as a worker, that is in a position to hire me. I have to bluff and lie.
I have to change how I act for other people. How is that authenticity?
Why do they want to hire a liar so bad?

If they can tell me why I need to act a certain way and its a reason I can align myself with, then I will happily do as they ask.

That's kind of my value code, but sometimes I want to be able to achieve things. Sometimes I think its worth the posturing to be in a position where I can develop new skills and do good things for people.

I read on Quora "Strive to be talented, not to be famous." and that's what I agree with. If I'm talented then maybe people will recognize my talent.

but currently all of my talents are obscure and hardly marketable.

I guess what I mean by going against the grain is conforming to an ideal I don't believe in so that I can HOPEFULLY become more talented and do good things for people.

Why do employers hype their jobs up so much when they are just going to treat their employees like dirt if they can get away with it?
Isn't it really just haggling?

What's wrong with this society to where we can't be proud of our workplace and bosses because we know them to be fair people? Where we can only expect to be mistreated by people that believe themselves our superiors?

Ah.

Yeah, that one.

Personally I would stay true to yourself instead, because handing over your ideals is a very scary thing for long-term mental and spiritual health.

And I would seriously consider moving somewhere where the culture aligns itself more closely to your own personal sense of ethics.

I packed up and moved a couple of times since reaching adulthood, for that very reason.
And I do NOT have ANY regrets about doing so -it was 100% the right move (pun intended).

There are absolutely places and employers who prefer to hire people with congruent personalities and ethics rather than specific skill sets (skills can easily be taught; personality mis-matches are much harder to smooth over). For which reason they do not want liars, and many times if you tell them bluntly that you are looking for a good fit for long-term employment, they sometimes even recommend you elsewhere if you aren't a good fit for them directly.

On the other hand, I have found that the larger the business, the more it has prioritized profit over everything else, the less they care about anything except money, so they actively prefer people who are willing to set aside who they are and personal integrity... it really is a quantifiable monetary advantage to a business to not have to worry about that. In terms of goodwill and long-term business stability it is problematic, but most people who put money first don't care about the longer-term, because they figure they'll use their money to fix the longer-term when it comes, and they've long since put aside any loyalty as less important than money, so why should they care about the long-term stability of the business, or its goodwill?

Maybe that last bit is just my cynicism. I'm pretty jaded when it comes to large business' practices. Although I think anyone who actually reads EULAs and other business agreements lately would think the same....



Eh. I just plain have opinions!. Ha, at least I don't care if others disagree with me. It's often more interesting, honestly, because then they point out other aspects of a situation I might not have heard of. But I do babble a lot.... sorry if that bothers you.