Uh, MissNikki, "I'm not really a fan of X" is often a short-hand way for somebody to be polite in saying that they have a major issue with X, but don't want to phrase it in a way that sounds like they're judging someone else for enjoying things with X in it.

It isn't actually meant to imply that people who like Game of Thrones are actual fans of incest.

Nor is it typically meant to imply that things with X in it should all disappear or never be produced/written/supported etc.
In fact, the very opposite, it is a phrasing designed to step back from it as a personal choice while leaving it open for others to enjoy.



And I was a history major. I am VERY aware that these things were part of history, but I personally do not entertain myself with things that portray those sides of history that I don't enjoy, however unrealistic that is, because why should I have to be realistic when I'm doing something solely for my own entertainment?
That doesn't mean that I am denying that part of history.




I really think you took that the wrong way.

mmm, that has not been my experience with people using that phrase irl. Maybe it has a different connotation in text.

Short simple example: last night at dinner I asked great-great-aunt Myrtle if she wasn't hungry (because she hadn't eaten anything). She said "I'm not really a fan of caraway." This alerts me that anything with caraway in it, she's going to avoid entirely, so I know not to serve her things with caraway in it, but it doesn't lie by saying she doesn't like the dishes I served (she does, just not when I make them with caraway; just like red might enjoy the GoT books/shows without incest, if someone knew of one and suggested it). And she knows that her husband isn't actually a fan of caraway (he was vocal that he didn't like it WHILE he was eating it), she was not implying he was (He just laughed and said she was pickier than he and food was food). Nor did she lie and say she wasn't hungry. (I made her a fast omelette without caraway in it, since caraway seeds were my uniting flavor in the salad and soup and hot dish and cooked veg yesterday).

Typically I hear it when someone wants to say "hey that sounds interesting, but I have a personal issue with X, so maybe you can tell me about the parts WITHOUT that?"

It's actually a pretty common social short-hand, here.


edit: the reason I'm speaking up is because when I read her phrase, I actually laughed because it was something I'd say too, and I would NOT mean it the way you took it.





On the other hand, it sounds like you are dealing with your own battles with some of the GoT issues, so major kudos to you that you are able to get past that enough to enjoy the series anyhow!

Personally, when I just read through the discussion in this thread I felt attacked a bit, too. Maybe not as much as Nikki, but to me it didn't seem like a polite way of saying "I don't like it". To me it read as "I hate this and how dare you geek out about it in my presence, it's filthy dirt that nobody should enjoy". Not saying it necessarily was meant that way.
But it's also a bit of a sore spot for fans of the books - not so much the incest (but personally, that's not really such a big concern for me, that doesn't hurt anyone outside of the people practicing it after all? I find it SUPER weird that it gets thrown together with rape as if it was a similarly horrible thing), but the dubious consent issues. Because quite a few of those scenes are show-only or at least very different in the books. And it feels really terrible when people go "oh, it's that super rape-y stuff you're a fan of" - and that's not really what I'm a fan of. I don't like that they made these changes. I prefer how the books handle these things. As a fan of the books, I don't want to be judged for the decisions of the showrunners...
So maybe that explains a bit why we get defensive about these matters?
And no, I'm not saying there's no rape in the books. But there's less dubious consent. There's outright rape, and it's bad, and people suffer. But it's portrayed as something bad, not something dubious. Those books are dark, there's lots of people dying and living through really really horrible things. I don't personally see why rape should be where one draws the line at what is ok to have in fiction? I mean, of course, if you like your books less dark and with less horrible stuff in them, that's fair and they're just not for you. I'm not saying everyone must enjoy this stuff :D But it's not like I think those things are good just because I enjoy reading darker stories...

Edit: Also, your comparison hangs a bit at one point - your aunt had to give you an answer about why she wasn't eating. Nobody is obliged to explain why they're not watching a certain tv show...

Yeah, it can be so hard to appropriately handle these things, and then the changes of book to show on top of it all...
(I actually am with you on the "why is incest such a big deal if it's consensual? Warn me about the NC stuff, please". But I also admit that you don't have to look too hugely far back in my family tree to see first cousins marrying each other. >.< It's amazing how many of the currently living relatives get weirded out by that when they realize. But it was a different time, after all.)


I've actually noticed that in a number of ways, the strange ways we get judged for what we enjoy. I like reading lots of romance novels, but that doesn't mean I'm going to jump in bed with anyone who looks at me kindly... and yet you'd be amazed how often reading a romance novel in public gets me propositioned by strangers, who then act upset and say "But you like romance novels!" as if that should mean exactly what they want it to mean.... just because someone likes reading murder mysteries doesn't mean they are plotting a murder..... people can like what they like without it meaning anything.



(I know the comparison wasn't perfect, but it happened just a couple hours previously, so it was the easy example to go to. It happens a LOT, I could pull out others, but why bother? I'm not even the one who said it this time, maybe it *was* meant as an insult, I'm not a mind-reader.... I just know I definitely would not have meant it that way if I had said it. I'd have meant "that's one of my bug-a-boos and I can't get past it to enjoy this, tell me about the other parts but don't expect me to watch it too, please"

edit: only I'd have been referring to the rape-y stuff and graphic violence in the show, honestly, because that's more my actual bugaboo. Weirdly I seem better able to handle the detailed description of violence in books than even cartoony violence in visual media)

Mh, I actually have an aunt that's married to a some-kind-of-cousin (don't know if first, probably not? Not sure), so maybe that's part of why I'm not so weirded out by it. But I seriously don't get why people freak out about that part so much...

Wow, that reaction to romance novels sounds... super strange Why would people make these kinds of assumptions?? Humans are weird, sometimes.

Oh, the part about the graphic violence is interesting! I am like that, too - I actually looked away in quite a few scenes in the got tv show, where I have no problem reading about them. I once heard or read something that explained it somewhat like "When you're reading, your brain only ever allows you to picture as much as you can handle - whereas when you're watching something, you have less control over it, so it is more difficult to tune out parts that are too much for you personally". I find that a super fascinating topic, because, yeah, I can read about pretty horrible stuff - just as an example, take the black jewels opening scenes for Lucivar. I would hide under a blanket if that stuff was shown to me as a movie, but I can read it without a problem.

(completely off-topic: If you have the time and are just not looking - there's a roll you should be making ;))

MissNikki wrote:

I really do not think I took it the wrong way, as she specifically responded to my being a fan of GoT by saying she is "not a FAN of insest", spelled wrong to boot... that is implying by being a fan of this show or book you are a fan of incest, and I don't appreciate that ignorant stance. Think what you want, but I know what she meant.

And that DOES sound as though she is being judgmental and is NOT a "polite" way of putting it. A polite way of putting it would either be to ignore the topic completely, or say yeah, not a fan of that author or those books. She took a dig and she knows it, and I know it.

I wasn't trying to take a dig I was just saying why I don't watch it because of this. I have said it like this to another person and they didn't get offended so I didn't think anything was wrong with what I said. I'm sorry if you took it the wrong way. My mom likes the show

MissNikki wrote:

I guess this IS the age of the snowflake, though. So why am I surprised?

You must never read ANYTHING at all because almost EVERY book has something offensive in it like bad words, sexual encounters, children being hurt or beaten, bad things happening. Do you hide yourself inside a small dark room and try to not to come out to avoid things that offend you? Sounds kinda like it.

please don't make assumptions about me because I don't like certain things

I'm glad you didn't mean it like that, red. It was a very short statement with little context, so we probably read too much into it. And then some people doubled down on it and made it seem bigger than what it originally was.

You know what I find funny though? I can't really watch supernatural (or at least I don't enjoy it much), because that has too much graphic stuff and especially jumpscares for me :D Everyone has different points where they're sensitive, I guess :D

Chrizine wrote:I'm glad you didn't mean it like that, red. It was a very short statement with little context, so we probably read too much into it. And then some people doubled down on it and made it seem bigger than what it originally was.

I never meant to attack anyone

Chrizine wrote:You know what I find funny though? I can't really watch supernatural (or at least I don't enjoy it much), because that has too much graphic stuff and especially jumpscares for me :D Everyone has different points where they're sensitive, I guess :D

I understand.

I didn't like that she called me a snowflake

Please don't make assumptions about me because I don't like certain things