Oh I know - but he's got like a real job where his company relies on him and he takes it really seriously.

It did but I guess it's for the best, to be prepared. I just hope that I can have just one healthy little girl. That's all I want.

I slept til 11:30 today! But I put the air on so it's kinda cold in here and I think that helps.

I understand stuff going on mostly in your head and it being stressful, lol..I think that's a majority of what being pregnant has been for me! I do hope time passes quickly for you though and things chill the heck out.

It kind of sounds like parenting XD

She'll be healthy, you'll see

Wow, that's late! I was sooo sleepy today at work, I actually nodded off >_>

Maybe pregnancy isn;t for me, then?
It makes me feel like I'm crazy or something It's slowly resolving :) Veeery slowly though

Lol, how is it possible that his birth certificate is wrong? XD

I think I understand "maturity" on a slightly different level.

Unfortunately they won't resolve for over a month or so...

Maybe try doing something for yourself?

Wow, that's funny, but I'd go total rage mode on the people who made such a mistake xD Or rather, I'd go on a total rage mode inside, or at home, and then I'd ask bf to go have them fix it #anxiety #avoidproblems

There's not much to complain about really... (I think I'll manage tho ) So on June 21st I'm going to have that philosophy exam. I only strated studying at the end of April, and that book on philosophy I'm reading is a literal brick, over 1k pages. And the glue sucks, so the pages fall out every now and then. I was also worried, because the professor did an illegal semstral test (the subject is for a whole year) and me and another girl weren't informed by anyone on time. So we had to ask the professor for permission to take that semestral exam along with the final exam. Fortunately, she agreed yesterday, so that's out of the way. Now I just have to read that brick (I'm somewhere in 1/3 tho -.-), read the notes of other students and read the stuff the professor was giving out during classes... And maybe I'll pass it -.-
After that I'll have to worry about defending my thesis... But that's for later, one thing at a time
The second thing I'm worried about is, we have to move out of bf's step-dad's place, probably to my mom's. And fast, because we're going crazy again. But the thing is, I have to yet call my mom and tell her, because I don't think she knows So we'd like to move out before June ends. But mom has a real mess in my old room, and no time to clean it, and I don't know if she'll agree for me to help her. Last time she decided she doesn't want me there (no idea why, don't ask me)
Oh, another thing, I have to make one medical examination, preferably tomorrow, and it's a long ride, and I'm nervous, and I hate that neibourhood, but I have to go... and I have to make 2 more doctor appointments after that. Then I can be sure I'm physically healthy and it's my head doing stupid stuff to me
And, we moved to that new office. It's awful. Crowded, loud, and the bathroom and kitchen conditions are terrible. Previous office was at least maintained somehow. x.x We have glass doors and everybody's staring through them and it makes me uneasy. And the guys keep turning the AC down, and I'm cold. Yesterday I was literally trembling. So today I'm fighting >.<
And I'm trying to get my day off tomorrow, but my boss can't tell me anything for sure. So he told me I can go to that medical examination and then we'll see. At the worst I'll have to go to the office if I'm really needed there. Or he could send me potential translation on my personal e-mail. I have to ask him again before I'll be heading home today. But it all makes me nervous and anxious, because I don't know what will happen and I feel insecure and unsafe.
Gee, I feel I could complain my ass off about nearly anything

How did you end up with that old lady in your house!? It sounds terrible! D: I also react very badly when people are yelling around me, I just don't feel safe, like I'm in danger, even though they aren't even yelling at me.
Maybe try doing some yoga? QAQ with earphones or something?

You guys! I can't even keep up.

It sucks all the things that are making you feel trapped Raine - i'm so sorry but please, find some way to make yourself feel better even if you just go for a walk in your back yard, just go outside - something. I know it's hard to push yourself but when it gets bad that's just what you have to do to be able to get over a bad time.

..and Mem, you're not better.

You guys have some big things going on - find ways to manage, please! You'll go crazy if you haven't already.

I have a lot of anxiety right now too - everything seems like I can see it but not touch it. The baby is 9 weeks away, we're trying to look for a house but that takes time. The shower is next weekend and i'm worried people won't come or it'll be bad weather or something.

We saw the baby last week on ultrasound and she, once again, had her hand up over her forehead. I read online that this can be an indication of stress and I feel so sad for her. I know when you read things online they're not always the most accurate but I feel like i've caused it because, duh, what else would have?

And i'm trying to make her some letter blocks which I have to get done by saturday so I can get a picture I want but they need to be sanded before I can do anything with them and the last time I spent any time trying to sand them I was in pain for 2 days with a bad back ache and I can't take anything other than tylenol right now or use the heating pad but even that's limited because I can't raise my body temperature too much or it could harm the baby.

ahhhhhhhhhhh - you guys!

I'm trying! DX
I study the stupid thing, I wrote that e-mail with request to the professor.
I'm making myself go see the doctors even though I hate it and I'm scared. and I make myself work out and be more physically active, too! So I could get some endorphins in my system. I'm taking vitamins and magnesium to help. I try not to care about how bad my mind is from just sitting in this crowded, loud full-of-eyes office, so I try eating pretty normally despite how nauseaous it all makes me. I can't just change jobs, because it's well-paid and not very challenging and bf keeps telling me "you're exaggerating, stop complaining about your conditions". Except, I am not complaining to him, I'm just sharing how I feel with him, and he practically just slaps me for feeling the way I do. I'm sorry, I'm messed up. But I'm trying to fix it all at the same time anyway. I'm no Jesus, I don't do miracles. I'm only freaking human. I don't intend to quit my job, yet he seems to think I'm about to, which is completely wrong. It's my first week in this new office, so I'm sorry if I have to complain a little before I get used to it all.
And I'll call mom tomorrow or something. I'm trying! >x<

And Raine asked for my rant... It's good to take it all out, you know.

Sorry Mem - didn't mean to insinuate that you weren't trying. I know you are and it's just hard and sucky. I'm sorry it came out that way - I just feel helpless for you guys and don't know how to..help.

I know, you just wanted to kick our lazy asses XD
I get it, I want to kick myself, too. And that's why I'm trying. I just hate so many things (doctors, exams, going to new places alone, being stared at... etc) it's hard to do anything. I decided that after I check myself medically, I'll try making an appointment with some psychologist, because I don't even.

But I'm still studying, and making apppointments and stuff QwQ It's effing scary DX