That's very true, that people are punished for being different

I hadn't thought of it as animal instinct before, that's very interesting

I'd thought that for someone to try to understand someone different takes mental effort, rather than just skimming over the known and familiar that doesn't require any thought, and people just don't like to think because they're stupid

and maybe they're afraid of change or of feeling confused or conflicted, as opposed to feeling sure of things in their group and associated norms. They may not want a philosophical crisis, but at the same time I wonder how they of all people aren't having a crisis every moment about the way they are
It does make sense that it helps you take it less personally. For me, I'd end up getting riled up even though I'd tell myself that they were stupid, because they'd act like they have every right to be stupid (most of the time it hurts someone, and so they don't) and to club down on me with their stupidity (they SO don't. I'm guided by what hurts and what doesn't, that's right and wrong for me, and they're just irrational. They'll ply the world with something hurtful often simply because they're used to it.)
Reminds me of something mdom once said, 'Life hurts when you subvert everything.'