Thank, Nox

Part of my problem is that I loathe the way I was raised.
My parents are people of a different generation, had different views and different ways to do things. To which I don't agree at all, so I try to stay away from it all.
But sometimes... sometimes I feel like my instinct goes that way. And I don't like it.

Not all insticts are good, some need to be tamed!

Guilt is such a powerful thing.
I doubt they ever get rid of it. Most people carry their guild all along their life.
It's sad for those who love them, but I think it's very very very hard changing such a deep rooted mindset.

Me too.

I even have this issue with food.
Like today I went to the supermarket, I bought some chocolate-covered pastries and I ate them. All for me. Did not leave one to share.
I feel guilty afterwards so I get rid of the package, so my family won't see it.
Then I feel guilty for hiding them such a silly thing.

I realize it's silly, but still it happens to me quite often and I can't help feeling more and more guilty about it.

I hate that too!

I've seen people doing it with kids so often.
It's kinda hypocrital. Cause they want to force you to do something, but they don't want to admit they are forcing you - so they actually twist their reasons to manipulate you.

Sorry guys, just been sporadically here these past days because, long story short, I gotta travel back to Paris for a few days and it stresses the heck outta me X'D... I'm not used to living in big cities anymore, lemme stay at the seaside dammit!

@Amura: Education took a huge twist these past years and it's not always for the best either. It's all a matter of perspective, our parents and grandparents did live in a very different world which had its own codes and ethics; everyone does their best with what they can. Still, it's normal to feel resentment for things of the past, I think, because what we live as children makes the adults we become. Like, I know I'm stressed all the time and having anxiety and depression because I was raised in a sheltered way ^^; My mom didn't want anything to happen to me, so she didn't let me do much. And in turn, it made me scared of everything new I have to face haha. Damn.
Aw, don't feel guilty for having single pleasures tho! Everyone is one individual before being part of a "pack"! Tbh I spend quite a lot on my own little obsession for dolls X'D it doesn't beneficiate anyone else but I need it soooo....!

@Moi: Guilt-tripping is just THE worth >_<... We probably should see it as only a desperate mesure from someone who has no other argument, but despite knowing it it still hurts... You're not weak for falling for the trick, it's just that you love your mom :)

Big cities are not for me either! I always feel overwhelmed and a bit lost in them...
Seaside town for me too, please :D

You must stay in Paris for long?


I guess it's natural to feel a bit of resentment, but I think it's just fair to concede that our parents were also children of their own education.
If we try to blame them for the way they raised us, we have to consider that they are the way the are because of how they were raised in the first place.

I don't mean to imply there is no individual responsability, and there may be some parents who are really really terrible parents, but most of them are just people who make honest mistakes because they don't know any better.

I've had quite a lot of resentment towards my parents, and our relationship is not very healthy, but overall I understand that they did mean well.