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Not That Good...
Posted: Jul 15th, '19, 01:49
by Moi
I have a sister that's much younger than me and she's recently got into drawing hardcore.
She has asked me if she's as good as me and I said she wasn't which is the truth.
However, I told her that I'm better than her because I've been drawing much longer and if she continues, she may just outdo me one day.
It got me to thinking about how harmful little white lies can be or even just withholding the truth.
This one time my bestie had something on her face or on her teeth and I told her.
She cleaned it off and thanked me for telling her because she would have been so embarrassed.
I also had a good friend bleed on her skirt and we were the last two out and I pulled her aside and told her and she thanked me a lot.
I used to love watching shows where people auditioned to be singers and sounded terrible and everyone always said "My family/friends/people told me I was a good singer!" and it hurt me.
Even if you don't want to tell them they can't sing, it's better than lying to them and them going on tv and making a fool out of themselves.
You should never hype someone up based on lies or withheld truth.
Even if they get mad at you or start crying and feel sad, I find it's better than letting them think they're good and being embarrassed later on.
How do you feel when someone asks if they're good at something and aren't? What do you say?
Re: Not That Good...
Posted: Jul 15th, '19, 04:28
by Akili Li
I'm not as emotionally strong as you, to be able to hold that hard line. I usually just tell them that I can see a lot of potential in them and if they decide to pursue it seriously to not let anything stop them from practicing... which is a dodge.
I'm not really proud of it, but that's what I do.
Re: Not That Good...
Posted: Jul 16th, '19, 04:41
by Moi
I think being honest is good, but also being supportive is good with it.
"You're not that good right now, but you can be if you keep trying."
I think it was an easy thing to tell her because when I was a kid, I'd cry because my family members were better at art than me.
But they'd always tell me "If you keep practicing, you'll be good too!"
And I would never want my sister to quit art, and my approach seems to have worked because she draws constantly and is way better than I was at her age.
I'd love for her to outdo me, but I won't make it easy 8u/
Re: Not That Good...
Posted: Jul 17th, '19, 02:20
by Sanssouci
I don't feel like I am very good at giving or taking criticism! But I would definitely want a friend to tell me if I had blood on my butt or something like that.
Re: Not That Good...
Posted: Jul 17th, '19, 08:36
by Akili Li
Sanssouci wrote:I don't feel like I am very good at giving or taking criticism! But I would definitely want a friend to tell me if I had blood on my butt or something like that.
Yeah.... I would want to know, too. I need to step up and be less mealy-mouthed.
Re: Not That Good...
Posted: Jul 18th, '19, 20:45
by Moi
Well, the thing is some people can't give helpful criticism.
As an artist, I get criticism on art of mine occasionally and saying "This is ugly" is an opinion - not a critique. Critique is helpful because it tells you what you did wrong and how to improve.
But people have also told me they were scared to give me any kind of criticism because I'd get angry.
Which is true, but not now. I like to learn and have people point out mistakes. Like if I accidentally draw a hand backwards and no one tells me and I just look like an idiot u8
I always like to help people any way I can, so even if it's telling them they bled through their clothes, I want to spare them that bit of humility.
I mean, it's not a big deal to me. Girls get periods, they bleed, they sometimes bleed on clothes. Not that big of a deal but I know some people are just terrible people 8u
Re: Not That Good...
Posted: Aug 29th, '19, 10:29
by light_sucks
I'm pretty intense with my honesty. I try not to be an asshole about it.
Though now I've gotten to the point where I'm like; do you want me to tell you my honest opinion or lie?
Re: Not That Good...
Posted: Sep 25th, '19, 05:56
by Aradiiaa
I'm working on my honesty, especially in the situations that you pointed out in the first post. I still have a habit of sugarcoating things and sometimes due to that, people don't understand what I really mean. I do think it's important to avoid white lies when it comes to people's passions and stuff, they might not always take it well (I know I wouldn't, because I'm sensitive to perceived rejection) but also it would be a lot better if it was said by someone you love and/or trust, because strangers don't always have the capacity to be kind or patient about your shortcomings. That being said, I think this kind of honesty is, in fact, an act of kindness. You want to be kind and tell the truth as it is, not be nice and try to hide things.
Re: Not That Good...
Posted: Oct 1st, '19, 21:12
by Rune
I have immense respect for people that are honest about stuff like telling me how my singing sounds.
People seem to like my singing though, but I sing quietly. When I sing with an amplifier Ive been told I sing like Loreena McKennit, which is a huge compliment.
but I think when I sing other peoples songs I can sing off key.
Anyway, I love singing, and even if I was bad at it, Id still do it, when Im alone. Actually, if someone told me I was bad at singing, maybe I would sing just to make people laugh.
I wont say honesty is always the best policy, and I do agree with my sister that everyone lies, but I dont think that that makes it all right to lie about anything and everything just because.