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Learning Your Sexuality
Posted: Jul 14th, '19, 20:43
by Moi
When I was a little girl, I always thought I'd grow up, meet a man, fall in love, get married and live happily ever after.
Now that I'm an adult, I don't want anything to do with anyone. I don't want a boyfriend or girlfriend, I don't like being touched, I don't like going out, I just want to be left alone.
I also don't have the patience to deal with a relationship and I lose interest in things and don't want them anymore.
I turn 31 in October and I've never had my first kiss, a first date or even had sex.
Those things haven't interested me in the slightest and I don't think I'll ever find interest in them.
I've been told that I just need to experience it and I'll change my mind.
I don't need to experience being stabbed to know it hurts.
I don't really find real people attractive. I tend to find fictional characters more appealing, but still feel no sexual desire for anything.
But I have had crushes on other people.
But they were more like...a strong adoration that I'd quickly lose interest in.
I once confessed to this guy that I liked him and he turned me down and I was sad for a few minutes, but realized that I didn't really like him and I felt like I dodged a bullet.
I developed a crush on a friend I met on this website. I was so in love with her personality and I loved just talking to her and watching things with her.
Again, it was more of a strong adoration, but I didn't feel that way about any of my other friends.
Have you discovered your sexuality, or are you still learning?
Re: Learning Your Sexuality
Posted: Jul 17th, '19, 00:22
by Sanssouci
I've liked boys for literally as long as I can remember!
Re: Learning Your Sexuality
Posted: Jul 17th, '19, 01:54
by Moi
Do you have a specific type of boy or just boys in general 8u
Re: Learning Your Sexuality
Posted: Jul 17th, '19, 02:13
by Sanssouci
I like nice guys above all else. But none of my exes were nice...
Re: Learning Your Sexuality
Posted: Jul 17th, '19, 08:25
by Akili Li
Both of your avatars right now are adding a whole new dimension of hilarity to this discussion...
I feel like not having a strong sexual drive could potentially free up a lot of energy and focus and time, for other things, but I wonder if you actually find it so, Moi?
I feel like there are definitely still aspects of my own sexuality that I haven't explored fully, but I don't feel the need to, so they will probably remain unexplored.
Re: Learning Your Sexuality
Posted: Jul 18th, '19, 20:36
by Moi
Sanssouci: That type seems good. Overall a nice guy is great 8u
Akili Li: I focus my time on drawing, playing games and helping around the house. I don't actually have a very active life, but I like it u8
Like going out on dates to dinner, a movie, a club, a party, etc has never sounded appealing to me.
I'd much rather stay home and do my own thing.
I am quite the introvert and Agoraphobic, so that kinda limits my desire to get out and meet people and go places.
Re: Learning Your Sexuality
Posted: Jul 20th, '19, 20:51
by Chrizine
I don't think going out is necessary to have an active and interesting life - taking time for interests like drawing or crafts can be equally if not more fulfilling, I would say.
Regarding the question, I've never really had any uncertainties about my sexuality. I'm into guys and I've never really experienced any desire for women that went above some kind of friendship-crushes (as in, really liking a person that I don't know very well yet and wanting to get to know them, but not in a romantic way).
I also have some less standard aspects of my sexuality, but they've also been with me since my earliest sexual fantasies and I've been lucky enough to be able to explore them in both of the serious relationships that I've been / am in in my life.
Okay, now that ended up sounding super ominous :D It's nothing terribly exotic, I'm just into BDSM ;)