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Switched At Birth
Posted: Mar 13th, '19, 01:32
by Sanssouci
From The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock.
Question #6:
"You discover your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mixup at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try to correct the mistake?"
Re: Switched At Birth
Posted: Mar 13th, '19, 07:08
by Akili Li
Hmm, at that point, I would be more likely to want to contact the other parent(s) and move my family if need be so we could both have joint custody of both children, and raise them as siblings.
Re: Switched At Birth
Posted: Mar 13th, '19, 21:25
by Moi
That's really complicated.
It reminds me of when men say they're not the father or a man thinks they're the father but aren't.
You don't have to be a child's biological father to be their dad.
Anyone can be a father, but it takes a good man to be a dad.
So I would think that if I loved the kid a lot, I wouldn't want to give it back, but at the same time, if they want their baby back, I would give it back.
And I feel bad because the other baby is my baby, but I'd take it back too and love it just as much.
But the one year thing is what makes it hard.
If the kid was like 11, I think the answer would be easier.
Re: Switched At Birth
Posted: Mar 13th, '19, 22:12
by Akili Li
Moi wrote:
That's really complicated.
It reminds me of when men say they're not the father or a man thinks they're the father but aren't.
You don't have to be a child's biological father to be their dad.
Anyone can be a father, but it takes a good man to be a dad.
So I would think that if I loved the kid a lot, I wouldn't want to give it back, but at the same time, if they want their baby back, I would give it back.
And I feel bad because the other baby is my baby, but I'd take it back too and love it just as much.
But the one year thing is what makes it hard.
If the kid was like 11, I think the answer would be easier.
Exactly.
Once the child is old enough to have strong memories? Forget biology, their family and parents are the ones they were raised with and remember.
At one year, the effects are going to be more indirect... the kids might have no or very few memories, but everyone who raised one will have very strong memories, and the grief of losing "their" child (if you switch back) is going to affect the child for a long time, and the disconnect of "you're not REALLY my child" (if you don't switch back) is also going to affect the child for a long time, not in either case because of the children, but because of the emotional reactions of the people raising those kids.
Which is why I'd want to try and combine families.
The emotional impact of gaining a sibling is a very different and far healthier thing than the emotional impact of feeling like a changeling, or a second choice, or a mistake, or a replacement. All of which you'd be at risk with, otherwise.
These questions are interesting -I'm finding that for some of them, I have strong opinions, and strong feelings about it, but I don't know how to express said opinions/feelings.... which is interesting too, in a different way!
Re: Switched At Birth
Posted: Mar 14th, '19, 01:01
by Moi
There was a case not long ago where this little girl was being taken away from her foster family.
She was Native American and some law stated that she had to be raised on a reservation by family members she'd never met.
She was screaming and crying as they were taking her away from her foster family and her foster family was clearly upset and even crying.
This sparked a lot of outrage because the little girl was well taken care of.
They took her from a loving family and gave her to strangers in a place she didn't know.
Yeah, they're blood-related, but that doesn't always mean it's better.
I mean I'd be scared if I was taken away from my family and made to live somewhere I was never at with family I don't know.
Of course a CHILD is going to be scared.
I'm Native American, I have three different tribes in my bloodline, I love and support Native Americans, but that was bullshit >__>
The girl loved her foster family and her foster family loved her.
She didn't want to leave because she already had a good home and a good life.
How can you rip a child away from people that clearly love her and care for her and stick her with people she's never met, far away?
People talk about family sticking together, but just because you're related to someone by blood - it doesn't mean they're good to be around.
I've had my own family members stab me in the back and twist the knife.
I've had friends that I considered family eventhough they live across the planet.
If a mother and father (or single parents) raise a child and care for the child and do good by the child - those are the child's parents.
Doesn't matter if they're young or old and it doesn't matter if they're the same race or not.
Re: Switched At Birth
Posted: Mar 25th, '19, 07:46
by MissNikki
Although it would be a hard and complicated situation, I think I would want to have my own child and give the other child to it's true parents.
Re: Switched At Birth
Posted: Apr 7th, '19, 15:31
by Sanssouci
I don't think being blood-related means anything at all when it comes to family. Any baby that I raise is my baby. I would be willing to adopt the other people's baby (my biological baby) if they were not comfortable and did not want him anymore. But I would absolutely not give up my baby.
Re: Switched At Birth
Posted: Apr 12th, '19, 13:54
by Rune
No, are you kidding me? I've already bonded to this baby. >.>
Is this something people do?
Re: Switched At Birth
Posted: Apr 12th, '19, 19:05
by Zupprika
I've seen a documentary about this recently. They switched the babies back but stayed in contact to have a bond with the baby they ended up with
Re: Switched At Birth
Posted: Apr 12th, '19, 22:32
by Miky90
I don't know how I would handle the situation, but I do hope from the bottom of my heart I and nobody will have to go threw this.
I suppose the best scenario would be switching the babies back and keeping a close relationship with the other couple (like neighbors for life), but either way it's truly a terrifiing scenaryo