Moi wrote:
That's really complicated.
It reminds me of when men say they're not the father or a man thinks they're the father but aren't.
You don't have to be a child's biological father to be their dad.
Anyone can be a father, but it takes a good man to be a dad.
So I would think that if I loved the kid a lot, I wouldn't want to give it back, but at the same time, if they want their baby back, I would give it back.
And I feel bad because the other baby is my baby, but I'd take it back too and love it just as much.
But the one year thing is what makes it hard.
If the kid was like 11, I think the answer would be easier.
Exactly.
Once the child is old enough to have strong memories? Forget biology, their family and parents are the ones they were raised with and remember.
At one year, the effects are going to be more indirect... the kids might have no or very few memories, but everyone who raised one will have very strong memories, and the grief of losing "their" child (if you switch back) is going to affect the child for a long time, and the disconnect of "you're not REALLY my child" (if you don't switch back) is also going to affect the child for a long time, not in either case because of the children, but because of the emotional reactions of the people raising those kids.
Which is why I'd want to try and combine families.
The emotional impact of gaining a sibling is a very different and far healthier thing than the emotional impact of feeling like a changeling, or a second choice, or a mistake, or a replacement. All of which you'd be at risk with, otherwise.
These questions are interesting -I'm finding that for some of them, I have strong opinions, and strong feelings about it, but I don't know how to express said opinions/feelings.... which is interesting too, in a different way!
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