I don't know. Maybe. Maybe we're missing something from the gray literature.

Oh, right. The typo corollary. My mistake.
A lot of snow found its way into my pants. I tracked it everywhere. I wasn't wearing wool pants. And warm is not toasty, it's just not turning black and falling off.

It's true. I had a strong urge to tell it to get off my lawn.
How do you know I'm not a teenage girl in 2014? Who is everyone, anyway? But I very much love procedurals from the BBC, so I can't help it, regardless.
Then I'll get to them eventually, I guess.

They've never done anything to help you, either.

That sounds like the strain number problem. It makes searching the literature more difficult and excludes people who don't maintain an intimate knowledge of the field. Not to mention it is a nightmare for outreach and popular science publications. It's the reason mycologists are moving to assign species names based on sequencing alone, if only to catch environmental sequences that haven't been cultured yet.

The gray literature in this case would be... videos not posted to the internet?

Sounds like the real problem wasn't lack of boots, but lack of wool pants. I recommend a full wool outfit. Actually, that's not a bad plan for everyday wear, either. All wool, all the time. Keep you warm and happy.

I called 2014 to ask, and it said you weren't one of its teenage girls. Sorry, but that's just the way it is. "Everyone" is random internet commenters I've seen in the past couple of years. The last time I heard about Sherlock at all was someone observing with amusement that the most recent season had been so bad that the few remaining die-hard fans were convinced that it was all a trick, and that the next season would explain the drop in quality as some kind of elaborate ruse.

I tend to trust most root vegetables until they betray me. Naive, perhaps, but I have faith in the goodness of tubers.

Huh. I didn't know that you folks had already had and resolved this same issue. I bet anthropologists didn't know, either. They tend to think of themselves as very special and unique. Paleontologists mostly realize that what we call species might not be the same as what people call species today, but we're pretty much all okay with that.

I'm sorry that you've reached the point in adulthood where taxes are no longer just free money. That's rough. My heart bleeds for you, a little bit.

I've had dreams with soundtracks before, but never that... oddly specific. You're sure it was the "Watch for it" music? Was there any connection you could notice to the fish people?

Videos posted not in English, hosted somewhere that is not YouTube.

I will if you will. Except I won't, because I can't stand itchy things. Have a good time in your wool onesie.

I'll be sure to hate the latest season, then. I can still watch the first few and like them. People liked them. I am people sometimes. I have a suit.

I had some delightful sweet potato tots. To go with my chicken waffle. In Kentucky. They were both delicious.

What would you do if you weren't okay with that? Lay down in your dig sites and die? Climb into the museum shelves and become one with the fossils?

There is still some free money. I get $400 for paying off my loans. Maybe my grants will be better next year. As in, I won't have any and I can be poor properly.

It was definitely the "watch for it" music, which also played when things were going well and the episode was wrapping up. That was the sort of situation that was happening for the fish people. There was no other connection. They were just fish people going to ERHS.

Oh, right. I forgot that there is a non-English-language internet. It's so sneaky.

But wool socks are fine? Aren't those itchy?

Do what you must. There's only, like, 12 episodes, anyway, right? That's not much of a drain on your time. Have fun looking at the weirdness that is Benedict Cumberbatch.

Sounds very southern. Is Kentucky the south? How was the PC thing?

We would burrow gently into the soft river sediments and wait to become fossils ourselves. It's how all old paleontologists die.

Being poor is a difficult skill sometimes. Have you considered not applying for any grants ever? That is a good strategy. Results in zero money coming in.

What was going well for the fish people???? What constitutes "going well" for a fish person??

It happens. They have different website endings and everything.

My feet are tougher than the rest of me. They can handle some itchy.

My plan was to look at everything except him. There will be a constant black hole on the screen that moves and talks. I think it's doable.

Kentucky is the South. The PC thing was informative but mostly not very fun. There were lots of rich people there and they were afraid of basic arithmetic.

It's only how old paleontologists die if they specifically request it. Most of them just die. Did that one guy ever actually get fossilized?

Sure. Then I just won't get paid in the summer. Sounds great. Do you get paid in the summer?

They were having a fight with some bad guys and they were winning. I think. It was a little like Power Rangers. They were color coded.

My feet are very sensitive. Do you ever have your sock rotate on your foot so the toe seam isn't on top anymore? I die every time that happens. I can't handle itchy feet.

I like his twitchy eyes, though. The twitchiness is appealing. The rest of his face is a little like a pudding in the shape of a face that fell out of its mold and was stuffed back in wrong, but I like the eyes.

Don't you get tired of dealing with PC because of that? The adults are always the same and usually a subset of them are very awful.

No, that's a common misconception. All of us die that way. The government just covers it up.
I don't know if that guy did succeed. I don't remember his name and am not sure how to look it up.

We get paid if we take TA or RA summer positions. Some of the summer TA jobs are only a few weeks long, too, so that's nice.

I need you to give me fanfic pairing ideas. You remember that "Solemate" AU idea I had a while ago? Where they turn into fish? I want to write it but have no particular pairing inspiration. It needs to be either het or femmeslash, because I want to write from a woman's POV, and I also want her to have a female best friend who gets stuck taking care of a fish. Beyond that I have no requirements. Multiple suggestions would be appreciated.

I also dislike wandering seams. I don't know why these socks are tolerable.

Fine. He can be a black blob with eyes, if you like. Would that be a steamed pudding, or more of a pudding cup pudding?

Yes, I do, but I like the kids and the ponies. Presumably, if we get the kids right, the adults will slowly be replaced by tolerable people.

Wow. Who knew the government was willing to spend that much on dead paleontologists? Why don't you ask for that funding pre-mortem instead?
I can't find him, either. I'm not totally sure he was even a paleontologist.

Which are you taking?

What fandom? I don't know what you're into right now. Should it be something canonically fantasy, or is this a complete AU?

Steamed pudding. Maybe a blood pudding. Something English.

I think the terrible adults are self-replenishing. Every time a new child joins there is a good chance that they bring a terrible adult with them. Saving the children may not be enough.

We're worth more to them dead than alive.

I don't have to seek funding this summer. My fellowship extends until next fall. Probably I will take TA positions in the future.

I don't know what I'm into right now, either. Star Wars, maybe? MCU and its corresponding TV offerings? I could dip back into some anime, too.
Setting doesn't matter. I'm going full AU. Soulmate is a dumb enough concept on its own without trying to figure out how to work it into an established setting.

When I made a pudding, it didn't have a mold. I just made it in a casserole dish.

You need to think longer term. If the kids grow up and stay in Pony Club, then there will be more of us and fewer of them. That way, when new adults are brought in, they have positive role models for good behavior.

What are they doing with these fossils that you are worth anything dead?

So... have you done your taxes yet? Since you're so well set on your financial situation.

You're going to have a hard time with Star Wars if you want her to have a female friend. There are some women in the new movies, I guess. They could be friends.
I don't know about the TV offerings except Agent Carter. That might be fun. She would not be at all happy to be turned into a fish. Yeah. Do that one.
You could probably even keep the canon setting, if you want. Imagine trying to stop crimes as a fish. She would be so frustrated. Delightful.

That's because you didn't intend for it to look like a human, obviously. You can't make something in a casserole dish, accidentally drop it, and expect it to come out looking like a famous British actor.

Nobody's staying in Pony Club, though. The organization is kind of withering. I'm not sure you can save it by yourself, Merch. You can only adjust the ratio of Former PCer:Terrible Parent by so many degrees.

Underground human fossil trade. Wealthy Bolivian buyers. Where do you think the government gets the money to not fix pot holes?

No. No, I have not. Yes, I need to get on that. Yes, I need to get on that very soon.

My real challenge here is arranging for them to stay fishes long enough for hijinks to ensue. There needs to be a reasonable end-condition for the transformation, and I figured that would be when they came in physical contact with one another, but then, why would they stay fish for more than a few minutes until nearby bystanders united them? The two ideas I'm kicking around are, (1) they make eye contact from trains going opposite directions; (2) they meet in a secluded location and no one is around to unite them, resulting in both frantically flopping around while suffocating.
Also: have you seen a picture of a sole? They are hideously ugly.