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 Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Aug 6th, '09, 23:28    
fefa93

fefa93

Joined: Jun 21st, '08, 20:48
Posts: 50
Hugs: 2231
Website: http://www.Ifyouwerealien.tumblr.com/
I was anorexic when I was 12, attempted suicide 3 times at age 13-15, & I cut myself since last year.
[But I haven't done it in almost a month]

Every time I'm on the verge of tears, I pinch myself hard or pull my hair while pretending to scratch the back of my head so I won't cry in front of people.

Not alot of stuff has happened to me in my life & I thank God for it but sometimes I wish bad things did happened because I want to feel empty for a reason.
[Pretty dumb, I know. But it's true]

I'm afraid to love because I've seen what it can do to people.

I hate it when people have high hopes for me or say they know I can do better than that [which I can] but I end up dissapointing them because of it. If people would just not tell me anything, then I'd do better.

Some days I just feel like sitting on my hammock, listen to music, & stay there for the rest of my life until I die because I know I won't sum up to anything.
So why not spend the rest of my days doing nothing?

I often see things that aren't really there. I've only told one person that offline and he was the only one who knew how to comfort me. But now he's gone, and I've never been more afraid in my life than I am now.

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 Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Aug 8th, '09, 15:28    
Alixtair

Alixtair

Joined: Mar 2nd, '09, 22:46
Posts: 325
Hugs: 9860
Mood: Alone
Location: Wonderland
muffinz wrote:Well thats tough i know how you mean.......feeling like theres no point to life and that your just a waste of human life.......but think about it is it really worth hurting yourself just so you won't be here anymore?


You're not supposed to answer to other people's posts.

I've stopped eating but I don't know why.
I'm depressed, and when I'm sad I starve myself.

But, I don't know why I'm sad.

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 Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Aug 8th, '09, 18:46    
Fluffy_luvr

Fluffy_luvr

Joined: Mar 18th, '09, 18:10
Posts: 92
Hugs: 3556
Location: Toronto
I am patiently waiting for my monthly 'cycle' because it will confirm that I am not pregnant, which I may be although the odds are in the 1-7% range. Lower since my boyfriend got me Plan B. It's making me nervous and it took my best friend a few days to get me to calm down and stop really thinking about it, but it hasn't stopped me from being overly aware of myself.
I hope I don't have THAT bad of luck.

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 Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Aug 9th, '09, 15:35    
Mirmei

Mirmei

Joined: Aug 8th, '09, 14:20
Posts: 35
Hugs: 765
Mood: EXHAUSTED!
Website: http://mirmei.livejournal.com/
Location: Finland
I feel really uncomfortable when people get too near me and say that they know me the best. It's like I've been lying to all my old friends and actually they don't know a thing about me. But this on, I won't make the same mistake twice.

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 Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Aug 21st, '09, 19:36    
Kiwi Cannoli

Kiwi Cannoli

Joined: Jun 26th, '08, 21:17
Posts: 3241
Hugs: 83535
Mood: zZzZz~
Location: In your closet......Sleeping
For years now I've been pretending to be someone that im not, and now I've completely forgotten who I really am.

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First Fairy: September 17, 2016
Second Fairy: October 12, 2018
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 Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Aug 21st, '09, 23:35    
Reila

Reila

Joined: Sep 16th, '08, 13:23
Posts: 27
Hugs: 8387
Mood: tired
Location: United States
I'm unemployed, and I've been living in a fantasy/daydream world. I'm starting to care more about my fantasy life than my real life.

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 Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Aug 22nd, '09, 08:38    
Mika-chan

Mika-chan

Joined: Jun 14th, '09, 05:33
Posts: 237
Hugs: 3599
Mood: Confused
Website: http://www.bebo.com/meghannlauthai
Location: A far, isolated island
I lie to my friends about the slits on my wrists....
i've been cheated on so many times that i'm afraid to love anyone any more...
i've wished my mum dead.... several times

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 Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Aug 31st, '09, 13:19    
wintrydaze

wintrydaze

Joined: Aug 31st, '09, 09:32
Posts: 651
Hugs: 18507
Mood: RAWRR.
I don't talk/speak because every time I do, more people hate me, even if it's just a 'Hi'.

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Strangers are only friends you haven't met.

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 Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 1st, '09, 03:34    
fefa93

fefa93

Joined: Jun 21st, '08, 20:48
Posts: 50
Hugs: 2231
Website: http://www.Ifyouwerealien.tumblr.com/
I hate the fact that my parents can't let go of the past when I'm trying to let the past stay in the past and better myself but they make me feel that I can't.

I love people & I love everything about them but my past is filled with such hatred and mistrust, I can't even make new friends without being paranoid, hateful, or scornful.

I've wished death for my family many times because I know they'll never change their ways.

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 Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 1st, '09, 05:16    
Ziaheart

Knuffel Moderator
Ziaheart

Joined: Jun 22nd, '08, 18:31
Posts: 12326
Hugs: 171461
Mood: *fingers crossed*
Location: Canada
I'm scared no one likes me, so I don't really like anyone. I wish I was strong so I could beat up people. I'm sometimes tempted to create a mule so I can troll.

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