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Re: 「sotano 」 - talk tourabu to me

Posted: May 18th, '15, 00:09
by Moi

It's hard to eat good things.
We barely get enough for food for all three of us.
Because my mom and I get disability checks.
I don't want to keep getting mine, I want a job I enjoy.
It's just REALLY hard to get out of my house.

No, it's just an unbearable sense.
I can't explain it.
I get afraid and extremely restless and I just want to cry and scream and I can't relax.
I have no way to listen to music because my phone is disabled right now.
I found out lately that if I turn my tv off - it's easier to sleep.
I usually leave my tv on because I hate silence and I'm not fond of the dark because I'm paranod. But it seems to be working good for me :u

Re: 「sotano 」 - talk tourabu to me

Posted: May 19th, '15, 03:48
by Lacrimosa
I know what you mean, that's what sucks about this country at the moment. it costs more to eat DECENT food. -___-
perfectly understandable! it took me years to feel comfortable going out again, when I used to abhor just going to the movie theatre. I know you're kinda out there, but is there maybe a place you could try go to a few times a week? or are most places quite a drive?

ugh, that sounds so unbearable and yuck >__< why is your phone disabled?
oh that's good! and I was the same way, I hated being in pitch black silence XD might be worth getting a small lamp or even a night light. it'd be reeeally awesome if you could get one of those fancy machines that make nature sounds. those are fuckin expensive tho, maybe a cheap stereo and some nature CDs would be more likely. XD

Re: 「sotano 」 - talk tourabu to me

Posted: May 19th, '15, 18:51
by Moi

I don't have a license to drive xD

I don't have the money to pay for my phone.
I like sleeping in the dark, but I hate waking up in the middle of the night and walking to the bathroom and back to my room <<

Re: 「sotano 」 - talk tourabu to me

Posted: May 19th, '15, 22:07
by Lacrimosa
well I know that, but usually someone drives you to get somewhere right? oAo or do you walk? <<

haha xD I don't like that either, I always trip or bump into something

Re: 「sotano 」 - talk tourabu to me

Posted: May 19th, '15, 23:19
by Moi

My mom drives me, but she won't drive me just anywhere.
She says she won't go anywhere unless we have money.

I'm more afraid of seeing something scary, not bumping into something xD

Re: 「sotano 」 - talk tourabu to me

Posted: May 25th, '15, 20:43
by Lacrimosa
sorry i've not been posting much, i had a really rough week >.<

Re: 「sotano 」 - talk tourabu to me

Posted: May 25th, '15, 20:58
by Moi

Want to talk about it?

Re: 「sotano 」 - talk tourabu to me

Posted: May 26th, '15, 18:44
by Lacrimosa
mm.. just nothing went well. XD incoming wall of text.

Had to walk about 4 miles to get to an appointment. It was muggy and windy. My feet hurt like hell and my shoes got all muddy. >~> Because for some reason there are barely any sidewalks around here and I had to walk on the side of the road 95% of the way. Thankfully my mom left work early so I didn't have to walk back, at least... but she was feeling really sick so I let her use my acupuncture appointment.

Had to wake up pretty early to go to a work-related class the next morning, which went fine for the most part. Was still overtired from yesterday, so I went home and just.. slept. Like a rock. Until I had to get back up to go back to work. I thought I started at 4:30 pm, so I got to the bus stop at around 3:30ish and commenced the usual I-wonder-how-late-the-bus-will-be-today waiting routine. A little bit past 4, I got a call from work asking where I was. Apparently my shift started at 4, and well yeah now it's past 4. This got counted as a no-call no-show, which is really bad.. I finally got to work around 4:22, and basically collapsed at my desk in tears because I was really fucking tired and I felt horrible for getting a no-call no-show, especially on such a busy day when they really needed me in on time. My co-workers were really helpful though, Irene gave me hugs, and Kaile said she would take my shift on the phones and I could do CRM. Which was good because I forced myself to start before I had completely settled down (there were like 3 calls in the queue and I couldn't just sit there doing nothing forever) and was still sniffling/trying not to cry more lol.

THURSDAY I SLEPT A LOT. It was good. Then Friday I had to meet with my boss, because of the no-call no-show. It was basically a formality but I still felt pretty shitty about it. Apparently I actually have two, because I got another with a similar situation a week or two before. (Thought I was in at 9 am for CRM, because thats ALWAYS when AM CRM shifts start, but for some reason I was scheduled at 8:45. I got there just after 8:45, but didn't clock in until 8:55 because, again, I thought it was 9 LOL. Only after I did so did my shift lead inform me I was supposed to be in earlier. I thought this just got counted as a late, but turned out it was a no call no show. @__@) So now I'm on a Performance Improvement Plan, and have to meet with her weekly. If I get 3 more strikes or another no call no show I could lose my job. So I guess I'll go back to arriving an hour + earlier than my shift again because the bus is so fucking unreliable. D8

It's my own fault for not paying the best attention to my schedule so I still feel shitty and dumb about it. Also I was just so damn tired. =__=;; I really wish I had my license, and that we had another car so I wouldn't have to worry about the stupid bus and spend 45+ min in anxiety while waiting for it. I might as well just start walking the whole way (almost an hour's walk), but I don't want to get to work all sweaty and gross.. orz

Today to avoid the 4 mile walk I took a cab, and that was almost $40. Ow.

Somehow I managed to draw yesterday though YAY????

Re: 「sotano 」 - talk tourabu to me

Posted: May 26th, '15, 22:03
by Moi

Omfg. Every time I hear no call no show, I remember this guy who worked where my dad did and he got wrote up and he had been dead for 3 days >>

It's okay, don't dwell on it, it'll keep making you feel bad D:
-massages shoulders-
Drawing is great 8U

Re: 「sotano 」 - talk tourabu to me

Posted: May 27th, '15, 02:09
by Lacrimosa
Omfg that's terrible.. XD;;;;;

Mwergh. I'm just really nervous about possibly being late again haha, I guess I have to err on the side of paranoia and be sure to text/call-in if I think I'm going to be a second late.
But thank you. <333

He changed a lot!! XD http://sta.sh/0akltru3qh4