Kingdom of Knuffel

I hate being broke. i hate feeling like I'm gonna miss out on things, too. but I can't seem to get a job, and I've been trying for over seven years. what am I doing wrong?! I started the moment I knew i was losing the job I loved. If there's nothing wrong with my resume, what is it that I'm missing, besides the fact that I've got such a big gap that I've been trying to fill with finding a job?

I have a bit of control issues, and just bought a scale for the first time of my life. I am trying not to, but literally weigh myself multiple times a day. It is terrifying, but also the level of control is nice. I'm still eating, but I fear what I may develop later on in life...

I hate how you treat me, and how you act like you're the authority on things. You're not, you're useless, you suck at finances, and you're the lazy one.

I know that my former boss cheated on his girlfriend at the end of a work party with an employee that's 20 years younger.. Don't know if she ever found out.

Really wish we would stop pretending that my brother never got engaged to a psychopath. Like it happened... she played all of us to her tune. No need to get into an argument when someone mentions her so you can live in complete bliss.

Its been a long time since I've been on this site but its probably the best place to say all of this so I can work on my issues little by little. I have a crazy amount of anxiety and specifically imposter syndrome. I'm not gonna lie, I've been getting better about it for the past few years but its still something that I have a hard time talking about with someone in great detail, especially if that person is super close to me, thinks highly of me, or if they are don't have experience with it. Even with therapy and regular meds, I still have a hard time letting go of trying to be perfect and constantly feeling like I'm letting everyone down.

I thrive for drama, and somehow am the in-between a couple and their drama. They both come to me for advice. I really like it, but give them honest, good advice because I really hope they work out. But because I hear the situations from both sides, I actually get to see the whole picture.

She is almost always in the wrong.

I honestly wish it were possible for me to stay in Florida after the 18th, but I know it's not currently feasible. and I hate that