Kingdom of Knuffel

Spoiler

I'm just so mentally, emotionally and physically drained and tired. I keep getting those random suicide thoughts. They just keep coming back and it's not like I entertain them. I have a reason to live. I like my life, especially with him. But it fades away when everyone else comes in, intruding, stepping their dirty shoes on me.
If only I could escape her and have some normalcy at last, it would be perfect. But she's stubborn, she won't go away. And she won't change her opinion about her actions. What can I do, besides hide away from everyone?

My fever is back in full force.
It's been almost two weeks.
I swear, it's always something.
Either the wifi doesn't work, or my computer's broken, or I'm sick.
I just want to finish my program so that we can start having money coming in.
We're running out of funds. Fast.
I need a job.
Just let me work, universe!!!

Yes, universe, how did you know that a period so heavy that I bled through a tampon AND pad within an hour of putting them on/in was EXACTLY what I needed to help me through the fever I've had for almost two weeks, and the chronic pain that has been getting worse every day because the beds I've been sleeping on for the past few months have been shit? Thank you, how did you know?
Every day, I find myself more and more disappointed when I wake up...
At least when I sleep I don't hurt so much.

Why bank why? I put money into my account to pay for some transactions. That didn't mean it was for you. Now those transactions have bounced... all because you had to just take 'em. Darn you.... Now I have to borrow more money and I guess put it on my debit visa to pay for the transactions that didn't go through. I don't want the money in my account since you will take it. I tried to work something out with you for the money owed, you didn't want to work with me.... Don't worry I will fix it... and once I do I'm going to another bank. You have lost your "valued" customer of many many years. Your fees were outrageous anyways.....

Well it's official.... my dad only has a few weeks left. The oncologist says there isn't anything that can be done and he really isn't coming back home. He will go into a hospice.... That's good and bad.... Now I'm looking at the real reality of where am I going to go? My "employment" to my dad is almost over.... I will have no money and no home..... So anxiety over this and obviously sorrow over the news. I'm not having a good day and I still have to fix what the bank has done..... :( Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if I just had never existed.

Welp, how the hell am I suppose to fix a plummeting sex drive...?

Hello

He doesn't want visitors. In a way I would like to see my dad before he dies but I also want to honor his wish.... Ah what to do? I'm okay without seeing him. I will be fine. I'm going to go to the bank then to get some groceries.... He's been going very quickly downhill and will die soon, so he just wants to be left alone. I will honor his wish but it hurts.... Grief is so painful.

You are not good for my mental health.
There. I said it.

Kingdom of Knuffel

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