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Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jan 24th, '17, 17:47
by jacobgrey
Pain is flaring up bad again. Don't know whether to stop taking the sleeping pills and see if that helps. Not sure whether it's worth it if they do to go back to being sleepless. Basically I just want to take them all day long and sleep until this is past.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jan 24th, '17, 22:47
by Akili Li
I'm so far behind with everything that needs to happen, and I'm so stressed out about it all. I'm worried about the Elders and I'm worried about finances and I'm worried about the climate and I'm worried that when the Elders are gone, I'll have no close family left and it will be too late to make one. Some days it sounds so tempting to just lie in bed and never get up, and if it weren't for the Elders I'm scared that's what I'd just actually do.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jan 25th, '17, 00:40
by Fire
I'm in paradise.
I'm back home. A place that has felt more like home than where I grew up ever did. A place I have dreamed about returning to every day since I last left. The place I escape to in my daydreams when life gets too hard.
...Why do I still hurt this much?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Feb 1st, '17, 01:04
by Fire
I do not have many healthy, productive outlets for my emotions.
This is a safe space for me. A place where I can heal. A place where I can process emotions too difficult for me to face head on.
I do not have access to support here. This is all I have.
Please don't leer over my shoulder judgingly, then get uppity because you're offended by what someone else posted.
This is my space. I have so few places that are my own. I need this. Let me have this.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Feb 1st, '17, 01:28
by Fire
Why is it that every time we have a discussion where I don't agree with you, if I refuse to change my opinion you get all pissy, bitch me out for being stubborn and not understanding how to discourse or apply logic, and end up marching away in a huff and not talking to me for the rest of the day? I am not going to change my opinions, and my entire world view, just to please you. Get off your high horse and get over yourself.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Feb 6th, '17, 18:07
by Moi
I'm so sick of being treated like I'm five years old.
I'm almost 30, and I still get treated like I'm a toddler.
I'm surprised I don't get put in time out or spanked.
I don't talk a lot and I can be forgetful and get confused, but I'm not stupid.
I can't stand people telling me shit they know nothing about.
I can't stand ignorance, and when I try to correct them, they talk down to me like I'm five.
I've about had it with people.
I don't like conflict, but I'm getting sick and tired of being treated like a fucking kid.
I know WAY more than you, and you talk about shit you have NO idea about.
And when I speak up, you STILL act like you know more than me.
You can't even use a goddamn microwave, and you're telling ME about stuff?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Feb 7th, '17, 03:06
by Fire
Let's go in the garden,
You'll find something waiting,
Right there where you left it,
Lying upside-down.
When you finally find it,
You'll see how it's faded,
The underside is lighter,
When you turn it around.
Everything stays,
Right where you left it,
Everything stays,
But it's still changing.
Ever so slightly,
Daily and nightly,
In little ways,
When everything stays...
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Feb 7th, '17, 03:11
by Fire
These days, I'm only ever happy when I'm high.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Feb 7th, '17, 19:53
by lunar_eclipse66
Things have been rough since I moved. I'm not sure I have what it takes to get a degree anymore and I'm not even sure if it'll be useful by this point. I don't think I can back down because i've already sank so much money in this school and its so expensive its ridiculous. I'll probably be in triple the amount of debt i was in after my undergrad and I can't even say i can get a job to pay for it.
My finance is slowly being killed by stress and work and I don't even feel like I can make him happy anymore. We've been fighting a lot. Last night was so bad I wanted to drink myself to sleep but only decided against it because i had a job interview the next morning.
My mental breakdowns come a lot more frequently and I don't feel like I can talk to people here about my money issues because half of them are rich and don't understand it.
i feel like my friends back home are done with me. It my fault because I left, but I feel like they want nothing to do with me anymore. One in particular seems to hate me now, or maybe she always did and now there is no reason to hide it. I guess we just shared friends and dealt with each other. Oh well. It happens.
I can't talk to anyone anymore and I feel like I'm falling apart.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Feb 8th, '17, 03:56
by Fire
It’s been a few months.
I thought it’d get easier.
Why isn’t it getting easier?