I found out yesterday that my nephew passed away. Accidental overdose. He left behind two children, 7 year old twins. I found out late at night and ugly cried for hours, I woke my partner up and told him but he gave me a quick hug and went back to sleep because he didn't know him and I don't think he knew how to console me.

Then today my partner was suddenly sick and spent all day laying around, leaving me to take care of our kids and housework all by myself while still trying to process the news about my nephew. I just feel so emotionally drained.

I know he can't help that he's sick but he really seems like he's milking it, he has been sleeping literally all day and I don't know how to feel. I feel bad for him but I'm also pissed because I can't even grieve.

omg i am so sorry.. that is horrible :c

sometimes partners don't know how to handle sudden things like that :c
It happens, but im sure they are their for you when you need it. It is hard to comfort people from my point of view. everyone grieves differently.
When i grieve i want to be held and scream and cry over the situation, but you might be different. It depends and maybe they dont know how to handle it :C

I hope you get some rest and build up your energy <3 i am so sorry for your loss

I have no idea what's going on. I had 5 vials of blood taken today and everything came back normal but that doesn't explain why I'm experiencing symptoms like early menopause or vitamin b12 deficiency. I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow and hopefully he has something to say about what's going on because me being weaker than normal, 68 temps are making me "sick" like which is what I feel during the summers and my damn girl thing being way out of wack and not normal. Which doctors cared or even listened to me but what would I know; I had to self educate myself about my ulcer and meds I was on because the doctor and nurse practitioner were not doing their jobs which seems to be what I run into all the time.

ok i used to weigh 116 last summer that is what
i weighed
and now

i weigh
like
145
and i want to kms
not really
but sort of

i had a really bad time over winter and ate my feelings
also did not move

so now i am trying to chug water all day and go for runs and so far i've already lost 5 lbs but like it's not enough i want to be back to ~120 and i am very frustrated with myself for letting myself gain like 30 goddamn pounds

this seems very minor compared to what others are sharing though
i kinda feel like a shit.

ashabellanar wrote:this seems very minor compared to what others are sharing though
i kinda feel like a shit.

don't ever compare your problems with problems of other people. Your problems are yours, it's what bugs you, you deserve to have them and be upset about them. Just because other people seem to have bigger issues doesn't mean yours aren't as big for you. It's all relative and depends on many factors.

I wish you luck keeping your determination in getting back to your previous weight. I also wish I had your determination. I've gained a fat gut and I can't make myself work out for the life of me, though I feel disgusting with it

I wrote a really long, nonsensical post on an old blog of mine.

kira-chansnewblog.weebly.com/blog

It's the latest post. I don't know what to do.

@CycloneKira: Your post wasn't nonsensical at all. You wrote down your thoughts, there's nothing nonsensical about it.

And I feel you. As far as you described it, I'm exactly the same. Even including exam being super near and me fucking all the studying I should be doing.

I can't give you any good advice, besides seek help of a professionalist, so I suggest visiting a psychologist. I plan to do so myself, because I'm a mess and slowly turning into madness. First of all, you need to honestly talk to someone and the best person is someone who is emotionally detached from you and has some education or practice or whatever to actually help you.

But if not, you should at least talk to someone you can confide to, a close friend, mom, whoever works for you.

Take care.

Aaaand of course you broke the door to our room. Of course. Who needs privacy? Fuck privacy. Let's leave all the doors open from now on and let's all have loud sex in front of everyone, without care. Let's just scream as loud and long as our lungs can manage.
Who pushes that door handle so that it will just stay in your fucking hand? What the fuck is wrong with you? So I can't even close the door anymore? This place stinks. It sucks balls. You suck.

Fuck privacy, who needs privacy? -.- *groans, yells, bites and dies*

saiyouri wrote:I have no idea what's going on. I had 5 vials of blood taken today and everything came back normal but that doesn't explain why I'm experiencing symptoms like early menopause or vitamin b12 deficiency. I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow and hopefully he has something to say about what's going on because me being weaker than normal, 68 temps are making me "sick" like which is what I feel during the summers and my damn girl thing being way out of wack and not normal. Which doctors cared or even listened to me but what would I know; I had to self educate myself about my ulcer and meds I was on because the doctor and nurse practitioner were not doing their jobs which seems to be what I run into all the time.

that sounds awful!
I've had to see doctor after doctor with my health stuff, and it's still unknown why my health is how it is.
but why do they have you seeing a psychiatrist? wouldn't a geneticist or a specialist who deals with that type of health issue be more appropriate?

<3