Kingdom of Knuffel

S'true. I can never remember when something happened. Sometimes it feels like only a few months ago when it was years ago; sometimes it feels like it was years ago when it was only months ago.

There's something that really bothers me that's similar.

When someone dies, it makes me sad, but it ends up feeling like they never existed.
I can't remember their voice.
I can't remember their scent.
I can't remember how they felt (pets).
It's like I read about them in a book once and they weren't real.
I HATE it. But no one has ever responded to me when I mentioned it.

It'll be a year on August 30th since Kiri died and I can't remember her meow or how her fur felt or how she smelled.
I had her for half of my life and it feels like she was never here.

Reminds me of Peter Pan. Like how he forgets people when they die. Couldn't remember Captain Hook. Wendy figured out that Tinkerbell died because he didn't know who that was. It's sad but maybe that's the way your brain protects you. Dwelling on things can be bad for your depression, too.

I think it makes me more depressed.
It feels scary thinking of people I was so close to and it being like they never existed.
Like they were imaginary. Which I know they weren't.
When my mom and dad die, it's gonna be like that with them too.
And it scares me.

Yeah, I can understand that. I guess it's hard for me to imagine how hard it must be for you because all the people who've passed away in my life had be people I haven't seen in years before they passed... seeing as how I live in a completely different continent from them. I don't feel so bad that I can't remember them well, since I didn't remember them well before they passed. I can't imagine how it must feel to be unable to remember someone whom you've seen every day. I imagine that it makes you feel guilty. I wish I could tell you that it's okay. And I think in a way that it's okay; it's not your fault. You have some conditions that wear down your memory. You aren't forgetting them on purpose. But I'm sure that doesn't make you feel any better. I wish I could help you feel better, though.

I'll just have to deal with it like everything else 8,u
But I talked to my mom about it and she said she understood.
Then we talked about this condition people can have where they can't recognize faces.
I can't remember what it was called, but I found out about it because of a movie.
This woman sees a serial killer and gets into an accident and when she wakes up, she can't recognize faces.
Like she's at home and her husband comes in and she freaks out, thinking it's a robber because she can't recognize her own husband's face.
It honestly sounds scary u8

Prosopagnosia. Yeah, it's pretty sad. I watched a video on that once where they interviewed someone with the condition. They showed him pictures of people and at Marilyn Monroe he's like, I recognize that it's a woman and that she's a celebrity, maybe a movie star, but I can't really place the face or the name, you know? And then they show him a picture of himself and he's like, it's a man. He's bald. He's about [age]. He seems familiar. I don't know who he is, though... oh. It's a bad one, isn't it? This is me, isn't it?

Wow, I haven't seen that 8U
It's sad but it's also really amazing.
I find a lot of terrible things amazing...
It's not like good amazing, but the fact that it can happen to begin with is amazing.

Yeah, I feel that way about this... condition whose name I forget where people can't see motion. Apparently, they see the world like slide-shows or snap-shots. It's hard for me to imagine but also terrifying; they'd see cars far off and all of a sudden they'd be close by.

That does sound scary >xD
Reminds me of strobe lights.
How something is just closer with each flash =_=

I see things moving that don't move.
I don't know what causes it.

Kingdom of Knuffel

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