I just watched Top Gun and Top Gun Maverick yesterday. good stuffs >w<

Yeah i kinda cried during top gun 2 lol. XD there was a part that was pretty sad.

I use to have the nintendo game based on the movie.. i sucked at it >3>

Pft hahah I see. XD

Ugh my stomach hurts.. x-x

All I did was go out and get the mail! Dx

uh. okay? why does your stomach hurt then?

IBS is triggered from anxiety, I am agoraphobic meaning anxiety activates just by leaving my home.. thus.. trip to the mail box triggered IBS.


It sucks that it's all that it takes to trigger my anixety thus IBS >A<


When my brother visited, well more like after he left, I crashed. Not only did I slowly fall asleep, I also felt that freezing feeling. My counselor said that the feeling like I'm freezing may be my cortizol levels dropping after being so anxious all day. x-x I thought I got like that because I over worked myself, but here it's an anxiety thing!!!

ah. i see. okay then.

The last counselor I had, he was all "That freezing feeling is from the 3 Fs. Flight Fight and Freeze, and it's because you feel you're losing control of your life and you need to learn you can't control everything."

those three F's are survival mode things... All coming from fear... you don't feel cold when you're trembling in fear.. you feel hot.. I should know =A= You sweat, tremble, probably lose control of the bladder... and you either can't move, or you manage to run.. or if you're able to, you fight.

My feeling like I'm in the middle of a blizzard, freezing to death, doesn't fit that. =/ So my current counselor who actually HELPS with my issues instead of making me feel worse about myself, had a better explanation that makes sense.

So hard finding good counselors..
I had to email her for something a few days ago.. she responded at MIDNIGHT! x'D like! that there is awesome care.. I know I can count on her late at night if I need it. QwQ

I see.

So yay long weekend. It’s Canada day today. But my parents are in Baltimore lol so it’s just my sister and I. And my sister will def take the car and do her own things and leave me in the lurch home alone lol. Good thing though, i wrapped up all the full garbage bags around the place so at lest if she makes a mess, there’s empty garbage cans lol. My sister has a tendency to make a mess and only partially clean up.