-hugs backies-

I'm tired of flailing around my life but I don't know how to fix it.

Is seeing a therapist a possible option, Serra?

They can help, even if as someone to rant to.

Yep, I am seeing a therapist already. It's not helping.

The most pressing problem is that I almost always feel like if I'm not willing to make myself miserable to make money, then I don't deserve to be alive. And I know that's not true, but I can't find a job that fits my physical and emotional restrictions and if I spend the recommended time looking for one, I will probably end up too drained to do much of anything else. The recommended time is 40 hours a week. I don't even want a job that is 40 hours a week unless somehow it doesn't feel like work.

The therapist says I should just get some kind of job even if it's objectionable, while I look for other work.

I sincerely wish I didn't have a spoon limitation, but knowing I do means that I have to work within it. I often wonder if I would have been better off not knowing why I have problems doing things.

Awwww. I'm so grateful that people have stopped telling me that stuff. Yes, I would like to work. But ... yeah. Sometimes I wonder if I'm lazy.

It's not that we don't want to work, it's that our bodies and brains won't let us.

I often think that I need to draw more because that's something I can do, but it's hard for me to figure out what to draw. Like, maybe I wouldn't get money immediately for it but more people could see my art perhaps. I dunno, I just feel trapped and possibly lazy, but it's exactly as Den says, it's not that I don't want to, I just can't.

Yeah. Truth. Especially with mine bleeding for two weeks straight. I think the job I've chosen for myself is friend.

Speaking of friends (okay, not really), I found a Cerise Riding Hood doll at the thrift store yesterday. Only EAH doll I'd want to have. They're lovely, but the faces just don't click with me. Her expression helps a lot. So does her lack of embarrassing to Tam mini skirt. (mini skirts are embarrassing on MY dolls. Guys, never feel afraid to show me your dolls and arts. They can have totally different clothes rules from mine. LOL)

I do like sharing my arts so I will be certain to do so.

I just need more inspiration like the last one xD

i'm working on planning out how I'm going to cosplay one of my D&D characters. as for what to draw? even warm up sketches are something.