I'm a super introvert. I'm unhealthily shy. I only have one real life friend. She recently told me she'd like to meet new people and she wants me to do it with her. I understand her, she's all alone, I at least have my bf. But I'm not sure I want to meet new people. People scare me or disgust me. I sometimes loathe others. On the other hand, I only have my bf and I'm scared I'll be all alone in the end. I'm growing apart from my family, because we don't agree on basic things. They accept my bitch of a sister back. And her and I don't mix anymore. I don't adore and admire her anymore, like I used to when I was a kid and wanted to be her. I saw her for who she really is. She's deceitful, manipulative, egoistic and egotistical. Just thinking of her makes my throat tight. It hurts to see the real her, we used to be close. But I guess it was only because I was just a kid and didn't understand many things about her.
And I'm in pain because of all that, I feel broken. I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm going to disappoint everyone I care about, and that it will make me alone in the end.

My guild in a game got together for a xmas event... I stayed quiet and stayed away from people.

I'm scared of people even in games.

I don't know what to say.... Why do you need to insist on coming over today? I have so much to do and I really need to go somewhere. The turkey isn't thawed out yet. No don't think we should have dinner tonight and tomorrow as well. You are stressing me out so much right now.

The toilet is clogged, the kitchen needs cleaned. I have oodles to do. I just wanted to order pizza and do stuff today to prepare for tomorrow. You coming over wasn't in the plans. *Pulls hair out and has a breakdown*