Sunlight wrote:So don't give her jewelry, don't let her stay at your place, and don't invite her to your wedding. Like I said, don't dwell on the past but don't give her opportunities to repeat her behaviour. There's a girl who told me she hoped that I'd get sexually harassed. We're not friends anymore. But she's still friends with my best friend so I do meet her when I get invited to big events. I just politely ignore her, and I don't ever bring her up with my best friend, except to politely make conversation about what's new in her life. If meeting your sister gives her opportunities to hurt you (like insulting your mother), then I'm totally for avoiding her. But I wouldn't talk bad about her with your family or avoiding family functions just so you don't see her. I think that's only hurting you. And it sounds like your family don't get it, anyway, so it's just wasted breath.

Fuck the essay I just wrote, it's pointless.
What I wrote about her wrong doings, is only the tip of a iceberg. The story is over 10 years long. It's not just one or 2 things she's done. If you want to and have like 2 or so hours to read, you're welcome to read the whole story here: https://kofk.de/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=60603
I never said I do it to show my family something. I know they don't fucking get it and never will. I avoid her for myself and for my boyfriend, because she seriously fucks up our mental and even physical health, especially mine. No, thank you, I'm better off her.

Sunlight wrote:Quote:
Thanks. They even called me on Friday and wanted to hire me, but I declined, because it didn't feel like a job I'd enjoy or be good at. Felt like a root of stress tbh.
That bing said, I should send more applications ;>_>
Well, at least you know what you're suited for.

I don't really want to be suited for something like that actually. My therapist told me to think outside the box with looking for a new job, go crazy, explore new possibilities... and I'm like... But how the fuck do you do that with job searching? ;>_> He even told me to ask here on kofk, and I'm like, nodding politely but inside my brain is like "yeah, right, not the best idea, it's gonna sound like a) you're begging for strangers to hire you for remote job or b) you're begging strangers to search for abroad job offers for your sorry ass. Either way, it's gonna look pathetic."

Thank youuuu! Collection events like the one we're doing now, where you collect the thingies and get items for them! The tengu set was for collecting enough stuff, even though you couldn't pick and choose like most of them.
Ugh, darn them XD I'd rather be behind and have a chance to actually enjoy events!

Well if you change your mind, Raine and I will be your first friends

Maybe she just means try something unusual? Or like freelancing or such?

No, I'm pretty sure he meant stuff like "try working abroad, ask your online friends, try to do stuff you never imagined doing". But how do you exactly do that? Like should I ask a stranger on the street if he has a job or me? Like what? -.-

Great, and now I spoke to my mom, because Ash wanted me to ask for her advice, and I called her despite the fact I didn't feel like calling her, and she asked how I am. So I told her about the job, that I declined one offer, and she's like "WHY?!" so it triggered my guilt, of course. I told her why, she didn't get it the first time, so I had to explain once more. And then I tol dher I can hear she's not happy with my decision. One thing led to another and she yelled at me over the phone for caring about her opinion. So this led me to crying.
It's like, I'm sorry I was watching you all my life, caring for people's opinions and always assuming they think the worst thing possible. Like sorry that you messed me up, that I picked up on your own insecurities. And like an idiot, instead of hanging up when she started yelling I listened to all she was yelling and just began crying. I should've hung up and I now feel stupid for even calling her. She's never in a good mood, she's depressed for like forever and whenever I speak with her she's mad about something/someone/whatever and we end up angry and/or crying. I'm so mad at myself.

And I finally told Ash that when he said "too bad you declined, because you don't know when someone's gonna hire you now", that was super not motivating and I'm now afraid to even look for more job offers, because I'm somehow sure that the offer was the only one I was gonna get. So I feel like a failure. And it's fucking awesome.

Yeah that's not a helpful comment :/ But don't give up! Accepting a job that wasn't a good fit for you just would have ended in stress and unhappiness.

memoriam wrote:

Sunlight wrote:So don't give her jewelry, don't let her stay at your place, and don't invite her to your wedding. Like I said, don't dwell on the past but don't give her opportunities to repeat her behaviour. There's a girl who told me she hoped that I'd get sexually harassed. We're not friends anymore. But she's still friends with my best friend so I do meet her when I get invited to big events. I just politely ignore her, and I don't ever bring her up with my best friend, except to politely make conversation about what's new in her life. If meeting your sister gives her opportunities to hurt you (like insulting your mother), then I'm totally for avoiding her. But I wouldn't talk bad about her with your family or avoiding family functions just so you don't see her. I think that's only hurting you. And it sounds like your family don't get it, anyway, so it's just wasted breath.

Fuck the essay I just wrote, it's pointless.
What I wrote about her wrong doings, is only the tip of a iceberg. The story is over 10 years long. It's not just one or 2 things she's done. If you want to and have like 2 or so hours to read, you're welcome to read the whole story here: https://kofk.de/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=60603
I never said I do it to show my family something. I know they don't fucking get it and never will. I avoid her for myself and for my boyfriend, because she seriously fucks up our mental and even physical health, especially mine. No, thank you, I'm better off her.

Wow, sorry. I've just read a lot of comments from you complaining how your family doesn't get why you avoid her, and to me it sounded like it's brought up every time you talk with your family. Sorry if I misunderstood.

Sunlight wrote:Quote:
Thanks. They even called me on Friday and wanted to hire me, but I declined, because it didn't feel like a job I'd enjoy or be good at. Felt like a root of stress tbh.
That bing said, I should send more applications ;>_>
Well, at least you know what you're suited for.

I don't really want to be suited for something like that actually.

But uh, you misunderstood me here.
I meant that you know what you're suited for, as in you understand that you're not suited for the job you declined. As for what your therapist said,
I don't know about that. I'm having trouble finding jobs I'm qualified for,
let alone would enjoy. If you were to change your career track now you may have to start all over again in terms of training. If you can afford it, that's great. If not, well. Maybe look for something similar but in a different type of environment might be more doable.

KimiLavender wrote:Well if you change your mind, Raine and I will be your first friends

Raine Seryn wrote:@ sunlight- I agree with Kimi, haha. Will 100% be friends if you do decide to play <3

Aw, thank you very much!

I'm sorry for saying this, but Ash doesn't sound like the most supportive person out there. Maybe it's like the case with you butting heads with your family regarding your sister where I just happen to read posts where you're complaining about them and it's really doesn't happen as often as it sounds, but I don't think I'd have stuck it out that long,
if I were in your shoes. But then again, I don't have a great track record for long term relationships.

I finished the ink orchid set! But now I have to do the light elf one and that's even harder xD

Yeah, I think you do see a lot of the posts where she's complaining But I know I at least have also seen ones where she talks about the nice thing's with Ash. I think as humans we're just more likely to talk a lot when we're unhappy about something?

Yeah, I do complain a lot... It's Polish DNA enhancing the natural human thing, we do talk more about what's wrong than about what's good and I really wouldn't be my Polish self if I did not complain my ass off *casually blames it on her nationality instead of her inner negativity* #smooth

@Zia: No, I don't really bring up the topic of my sister when talking with family. They do and it ruins my mood every time -.- Unless I do bring her up, but without mentioning her name or anything, just a hint, and then only Ash gets me. And my mom is clueless so she's like "but what? who? tell me? who are you talking about? 8u" and so I say "nah, just a friend, nvm". Btw, my sister used to be my friend, so it's only half a lie XD So even if I (kinda) bring her up and (of course) am spitefull, my family doesn't get it anyways

Ah, see, this time I misunderstood XD
I wouldn't go as far as saying I have a career, I've only worked at that one company so far, plus I'm young so it's more like, I should start over to get something I'd actually like to do. Like, I have this job offer for writing scenarios and characters and everything for games, and it sounds like an awesome opportunity, but I'm so scared to even apply I am actually currently procrastinating sending it, like right at this moment, just being here on kofk instead of writing a cover letter or something x.x
I'm looking also for something similar that I used to do, so you know, I'm just trying to find something that wouldn't sound like a killer to me XD #ImaScaredBunny


About Ash... well, yeah, you know, he means well Sometimes I overreact or overinterpret (like always, duh) the things he says, but once I confront him I can rest assured he didn't mean it as badly as I took it. So at the end of the day, he's the one to encourage me about standing my ground with my sister thing, or pushing me out to therapy (sucks that he's unpushable, hypocrite ) or encourage me to do stuff I enjoy, like writing, drawing (he even bought me the graphic tablet that I'm so afraid of QwQ). He really wants the best for me, but sometimes (or should I say often) he states it a bit wrong, or I take it wrong and then I get guilty or angry, and it's a never ending circle But he's a darling, heart of gold, I swear ;A;

@Raine: I should be fine. I know my mom was right, that her opinion shouldn't really matter, but it's not about what she said, but how she said it. She was supposed to be here today, I wonder if she'll even come. She probably will and knowing her she'll be slightly pissed, or will try to pretend she's fine, but she's not good at that at all. Or in a third case, she'll actually apologize for yelling. I should also mention she's probably going through the menopause, so she's even easier to set her off... That doesn't justify anything tho, but still.
The thing with Ash was sorted out, he didn't mean what I understood, but I said it didn't work very well for me, so now we're good. I have like almost 10 offer to apply to, but I'm procrastinating QnQ And I should look for more. And cook dinner. 24hours is too short and I sleep too long lately

I hate it when someone rings the doorbell! Like today, I was working out, and the doorbell rang. I thought it's probably granny's friend, but for a long while granny wasn't coming out of her room, so I had to pick my tired (and scared) ass out and open. And for a Pole, I'm not really hospitable, my first instinct is to say "granny's not here, please try later" and close the door XD But she asked, I said granny's here and I still didn't open the door wider, like I'm so stupid... turned out she came uninvited anyways, but it's not like she was unwelcome or something.
When someone unexpectedly rings, you're like "who the hell dares to disrupt the sweet haven that is my house? I don't need you here " #scaredbunnymode I get it, I'm similar *hugs*