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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 5th, '09, 06:57 |
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Kailzee
Joined: Jun 19th, '08, 20:57
Posts: 1500
Hugs: 32221
Mood: Zombie
Location: Maine
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 5th, '09, 07:07 |
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Night
Joined: Oct 3rd, '08, 05:23
Posts: 332
Hugs: 18048
Mood: Busy
Location: kofk
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 6th, '09, 02:38 |
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coolwicked
Joined: Oct 23rd, '09, 00:18
Posts: 87
Hugs: 10459
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Oh gosh .
Let's hope no one sees this. o___o"
My father's wasting money on coins constantly without
my mother's permission and that probably's not going well .
I have a completely fake side where I smile and act like
everything fine and is not .
On the inside I'm screaming and ripping myself apart
mentally whereas in real life I act calm as if nothing happened.
I seriously think there's something wrong with my body
physically and I can't tell anyone . (idon'tgetbeatoranything)
Sometimes I sleep in bed and when I think about what's going
to happen in the future and I cry myself to sleep . I can't
sleep after that , and when I wake up , I blame myself for being
a stupid and weak girl .
I insult myself when I do something wrong but on the outside my
self-esteem is quite high , in fact . I'm cheeryoptimistic&happy .
Iunno. I think there's something wrong with me , in a sense .
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monochrome _______
butterfly christinezeng;coolwicked
&
{ electronica in the velvet room }
I'm in love with someone that doesn't exist . ♥
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 6th, '09, 17:32 |
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Awen Moonshine
Joined: Jun 11th, '09, 11:40
Posts: 252
Hugs: 2921
Mood: Purple
Location: In a cardboard box somewhere in England...
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 7th, '09, 03:22 |
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Hiper15
Joined: Sep 30th, '08, 00:49
Posts: 1061
Hugs: 50478
Location: In a dark abyss where no light can reach
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 10th, '09, 01:40 |
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coolwicked
Joined: Oct 23rd, '09, 00:18
Posts: 87
Hugs: 10459
Mood: t-ired
Website: http://www.coolwicked.tumblr.com
Location: toronto - ontario
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I've had people call me really
nice and all, but all I do is feel
like shit inside.
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monochrome _______
butterfly christinezeng;coolwicked
&
{ electronica in the velvet room }
I'm in love with someone that doesn't exist . ♥
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 18th, '09, 02:34 |
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Kailzee
Joined: Jun 19th, '08, 20:57
Posts: 1500
Hugs: 32221
Mood: Zombie
Location: Maine
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 20th, '09, 05:36 |
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violethearts97
Joined: Dec 17th, '09, 02:14
Posts: 1092
Hugs: 18469
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I'm caught between my pride and my feelings of inferiority. I have the highest IQ in my class. I've been tested twice. It's always been somewhere between gifted and genius. I keep asking myself if that can really be true. I mean, I feel like a complete and total moron most of the time. I just don't seem to have any common sense. I struggle with a lot of things. Technology, spelling, social situations, procrastination...the list just goes on and on. How can I possibly be considered gifted? Everyone keeps telling me that I am, but it only makes me feel worse. What if I can't live up to their expectations? What if I can't live up to my own? I feel like such a failure.
My depression and anxiety are no help. As soon as I start to feel the pressure of trying to live up to my “potential”, I just shut down and retreat into my own world. I've got to admit that my inner world is far more interesting, fun, liberating, and relaxing than the real world. It's filled with wondrous creatures, fascinating characters, and environments so magnificent it takes my breath away. However, I spend so much time in this world that I never do any homework, chores, or anything really productive. I'm failing classes now. Everyone tells me how disappointed they are and how selfish I am. How is that going to motivate me? I guess I'll just stumble my way through school and hope I graduate. I'd rather live in my own world anyway.
Thanks for letting me ramble. It really is cathartic.
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~My lovely friends need love~
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 23rd, '09, 09:03 |
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giraffie
Joined: Oct 20th, '08, 02:16
Posts: 535
Hugs: 26662
Mood: let's play a love game
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I think I'm paranoid. I tried to fight it this morning; I was babysitting my brother, he wanted to go outside and jump on the trampoline...I was ok while standing just inside the door, but once I got on the trampoline I was a WRECK. Every little noise made me stop bouncing and it drove me so crazy I had to get off within 5 minutes. I keep trying to challenge myself to get out of it but I just can't. Most nights my mom falls asleep in my bed, and I'm fine then. But I can hardly sleep when I'm by myself. Some people pull hair, bite nails...I pick at my skin, especially where I have pimples. I can't walk around my house alone without carrying a phone because I think that I will get attacked, I have to check every nook and cranny in a room when I enter it just to make sure no one's there, even if no one could possibly fit. Sometimes I forget something and I have to recheck the room all over again. It drives me berserk.
I wish I was a good artist so I could show everyone what was going on in my mind. Sometimes words are enough, sometimes not.
I want to try drinking because I'm so akward around other people, I think it might loosen me up. But my parent's would be so disapointed, and it's the 'wrong' thing to do. Says who? The law, I guess. And them.
I want a flat stomach, but I'm not strong enough to go on a diet or become anorexic or anything. Not that I would. But I've just thought about it. Someday I want to get cosmetic surgery to fix it so I can walk around in skimpy bikinis and show off my back and legs with out worrying about if people think I'm preggers.
I am an onion. But I feel like the layer that is covering me isn't the pretty, purple one but it also isn't deep down enough that it would make you cry. It's just in the middle sort of. And I hate it. My mind feels fuzzy, like I have something to say but haven't thought of what it is yet.
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Post subject: Re: Dirty Little Secrets... Posted: Dec 23rd, '09, 14:42 |
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Kinomihana
Joined: Jun 7th, '09, 12:14
Posts: 71
Hugs: 5821
Mood: Content
Location: England
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I need to start life over.
Only, I'm not just saying that. I really do.
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Need:
Silver Ring x4
Pearl x1
Bubbles x1
Cobra Fang x1
Apple Core x7
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Page 13 of 250
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[ 2494 posts ] |
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